Belonging to Yourself
by Kitsune Alchemist
Summary: Kurama always belonged to Youko. He just didn't know it yet. -Oneshot-


He loved to do this: to simply watch the small figure of his human host as he slept. It was to only time the youko got to watch him after all was when the boy slept. His tiny frame's breathing was soft and unbroken except for a soft murmur from time to time. At first he had despised the weakness of his host, but after seven years of living inside him, he had adjusted. Now, Youko simply watched from the foot of the bed.

With pale ghost-like hands he reached forward and stroked across the boys face with his fingertips, his claws tracing across after them. They left tiny white marks that faded all to quickly for the thief's taste. He wanted people to know Shuichi was his, and at the same time, he wanted to leave the boy unharmed. To ruin such perfect beauty as this was wrong, even to the silver-haired fox demon.

He traced his fingers over the child's face yet again, smirking as the boy rolled over and almost leaned into the soft touch. This was _his_ Shuichi and everyone would know it. Carefully, he traced his claw over the back of the boys neck and almost purred with a subtle amusement as the boy unconsciously and instinctively tilted his head, revealing more skin to the youko.

He had to do this now, before the redhead that slept so calmly woke up. Leaning down next to the boy, he sank his teeth into the soft skin, drawing the slightest blood. It wouldn't leave a mark, he knew, but this would. Dipping one claw into the small pool of blood gathering on the skin, he traced it over the back of the boy in the pattern of his name.

The boy groaned and hissed in slight pain as the blood burned slightly into his flesh, becoming imprinted into the shoulder blades near the back of his neck. Youko smirked softly and gave a whispered, "Gomen." After all, he hadn't meant to hurt the boy. Stroking his fingers over the child's cheek one more time, he retreated back into his hosts body as the sun peeked over the edge of the windowsill, lighting the room into the faintest gray.

"Shu-chan." The voice came through the door as his mother knocked softly. "Shu-chan, are you awake?" The voice was soft, but it roused the boy from his sleep and his emerald eyes opened, blinking softly. Pulling himself out of bed, he looked softly into the mirror and gasped. Blood trickled down the side of his neck and he wiped it away softly.

"Hai, 'Kaa-san. I'll be down in a moment." He said, polite even in his young age. Carefully and with some extra mirror usage, he finally caught a glimpse of the bite mark and groaned as he saw the name just below it. It was good that his shirt covered it once he put it on; he decided and left the room, still worrying about the mark.

Over the years, the marking faded from the back of his mind, especially as his hair grew longer and hid it better. He knew that Youko still watched him at night and still thought of the redhead as belonging to him, but after a while, he found someone else. The bad tempered fire-demon stopped by when it rained and soon he started coming by even when it was clear outside.

The two sat in silence for the most part, but they were peaceful silences not awkward ones. Hiei usually left before the night actually fell, only staying if the sky was letting rain fall so hard and so swiftly that the fire demon absolutely wouldn't go out. Soon, Hiei stayed more often and after a while he stayed more nights than he left.

It had been sometime after the dark tournament when it happened for the first time. It was storming outside and a particularly loud blast of thunder rang into Kurama's head, waking the human up. There, on the bed next to him, curling into him lightly lay Hiei, fast asleep. Kurama blinked softly and wrapped his arms around the youkai. The fire demon didn't seem to mind and instead slept on just a peacefully as before.

So, the young host for the fox thief came by the addition of a fire demon. It was now almost every day that he found Hiei in the bed with him in the mornings. Nothing ever happened between them, but they both knew not to let the other members of the Rekai Tentai know anything about them. After all, if Yusuke or Kuwabara ever found out the torment would never end.

And so life went on as usual; with the hidden secrets and simple lies needed to live life. The lies were normality for a thief and so as his entire life revolved around them, he felt more and more like the fox thief that lived inside him and had marked Kurama as his own so long ago. Yet, at the same time every lie he didn't share burned deeper into his human soul, ripping him apart to the very core until he felt as if he could do no more than cry. Still the smile remained on his face day by day as if held there by some force that he desperately wished to destroy.

The only one that knew, that shared his pain, was the youko who lived inside and could do hardly anything to sooth the boy. The quicksilver wanted nothing more than to take the boy in his arms and hold him like he used to, but that had become the job of the little fire demon that curled up with Shuichi – _his_ Shuichi – every night. However much the little demon tried to comfort the boy, he would never know what was wrong, even at the times where the redhead's smile broke down enough to show his true feelings to the oblivious Hiei.

Then the night came where Hiei lost his steady control enough to dare kiss the other teen. It progressed from there. Over the days that raced by, turning to weeks and then months, the two teens grew bolder and more open to each other's love and comfort. People began to figure it out. First the more observant ones like Yukina and Keiko followed by the less observant such as Shigure and even Botan (much to the annoyance of Hiei and Kurama, who both knew how bad she was a secrets) and Koenma.

After a while, it seemed the only ones that didn't know where the ones that were the dumbest and that both demons took so much care to hide it from: on both accounts, namely their teammates. They would eventually find out, to the horror of the two secret holders and the raucous laughter of the two on the receiving end of the new knowledge, though when the laughter ended the two congratulated them.

Even with one lie eliminated, the others still pierced the young fox-boy. Each new one added simply became a paper cut and as time went on and he kept it hidden, salt became enclosed, burning him and tormenting him until he felt he might explode. He wanted, no, needed someone to help him – someone who knew him as well if not better than he knew himself. One that saw his every lie and felt each torn scar left on the poor boys heart.

Yet, time passed. The human counterpart grew up and passed from his teens to adulthood. His feminine grace, probably courtesy of Youko's change to the boy before birth, never left him and his hair stayed long if only to protect or maybe hide the back of his neck. Hiei stayed in the Makai half the time and when he was gone, the boy would forsake sleep to gaze forlornly out the window, waiting for his return. The times Kurama actually managed to drag himself into the bed, he would stare at the ceiling thinking. His thoughts were still clouded with the false patience with which he waited for the return of his friend and lover.

Months came and went, turning into years before the eyes of the two who shared the redhead's body. Youko's interest and overprotective attitude that in the past he had blamed on his natural possessiveness could no long be blamed on that. Instead he had to admit his love for the boy as much as he might hate it. His wish to protect and comfort Shuichi was the only thing that remained unchanged. Yet, the boy continued his torment of ignoring the Youko whenever he got the chance.

It shouldn't have been that way. When Kurama was 23 it happened. A simple call was all that was needed to throw his life into turmoil. The worst words that anyone could hear came in the form a plastic device and an annoying ring tone. "Minamino-sama, we regret to inform you that your mother has had an accident." Kurama simply dropped the phone.

The next few days were a haze of horror and tears. His eyes had always been a dam of different emotions. It was made to hold back the tears he couldn't hold back by himself, but now it had burst. Hiei wasn't there to reassure and Youko was pushed away. Comfort was at a lack for the poor redhead. The day of the funeral was worse. His friends came to console him, but he shook them off miserably, claiming he wanted to be alone. Slowly he sank into solitude, wishing for nothing more than the relief that he so blatantly denied himself. The world shattered around him and left him all alone.

It was almost another year before Hiei came back to the ningenkai. The first thing he did was to pay a visit his sister. Fortunately, for both Hiei and Kurama, the redhead was there, but there was something different. Hiei stood behind him for a full 15 minutes before Kurama noticed his youki and turned to face him. His smile was even more forced than usual and his eyes were dead, the once brilliant emerald green replaced by a dull sheen of the color of dying plants.

Hiei crouched down beside his lover so that they were the same height. He had grown since he had been in the Makai and was a little taller than Kurama's height. "Kurama?" the fire demons voice sounded concerned. "What - what happened?"

Kurama simply stared blankly and then gave another small smile, this one only slightly less forced. "Welcome home, Hiei." The redhead murmured, dodging around the subject much too obviously. Hiei leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Kurama's lips and pulled away quickly. It was only a moment later that Kurama broke down crying, falling into himself and crumpling on the ground. Hiei shifted the fox-demon host so that his head lay in the fire demon's lap and Kurama breathed in the familiar musky smell of burning wood that was so familiar to him. Somehow it comforted him.

Ever so slowly the tears faded from his eyes and after a while it was clear that the boy had fallen asleep. Hiei stroked through his hair softly and as his fingers brushed the back of Kurama's shoulders, he felt something. The skin was slightly rougher almost as if it had been traced over by claws long ago, which indeed it had been many a time by the fox that had placed it there. Brushing Kurama's hair and shirt away, Hiei's eyes narrowed to find the imprinted name of the fox that shared his lover's body.

Hiei wasn't sure what to do now. Carefully he picked up the fox-boy in his arms, glad that the height difference had been lessened and flitted inside to lay him on the couch. As he moved away fractionally, Kurama's hand reached up and groped at the air. "Don't leave me. Onegai." He pleaded and for a fraction of a second Hiei thought the boy was calling for him, but his next murmur confused and worried Hiei all in one breath. "Okaa-san, Onegai. Don't leave."

Hiei pulled away and looked around before sitting next to Kurama and stroking his hair affectionately. Why was he calling for his mother? A few seconds later voices and slight arguing told the fire demon two things; neither of them the thing he wanted to know right now. Firstly, the detectives were here, and secondly, they hadn't grown out of fighting yet no matter how long it had been.

"Hey! The shrimp is… not a shrimp anymore." Kuwabara's voice ground into his head, almost causing a headache with the first few words. As impossible as it seemed he had gotten almost normal looking if not less annoying. Yusuke had gotten taller as well, making all four just about the same height. The looks of both hadn't changed much except for Kuwabara's hairstyle which once changed made the rest of him look almost not so bad.

"What happened to Kurama?" Hiei immediately snapped at both, not caring about them so much as his lover. Both detectives looked at each other, before Yusuke stepped forward. Twenty minutes and a rather long and incredibly annoying and extremely interrupted (mostly from outbursts by Kuwabara) explanation later Hiei sat on the couch, staring at Kurama with unnaturally soft eyes. Kurama cared for his mother almost more than anyone else and now she was gone.

"Kurama's been like that ever since. I mean, he was distant whenever you left for the Makai for so long, but after his mother died he just-" Yusuke motioned with one hand to express how the redhead had been since then. Hiei sighed and looked down at the redhead again. Kurama was his to comfort and yet he couldn't help him when the fox host had needed him most.

Hiei reached down with one hand to touch the fox, but for some reason Kurama pulled away, curling into a tight ball as if shielding himself from everything. Hiei knew the truth. Kurama was not his, and he had never been his. He should have known that what a kitsune claims, he never releases, and judging by his neck, Youko had claimed Kurama as his long before Hiei had even come around.

Kurama whimpered lightly in his sleep as the world of pain and suffering was left behind, only to envelope him in the darkness and solitude he pretended to desire so much. Standing there in the pitch-black space, a calm silver fox held out his hand to the boy. Kurama watched him for a minute slightly mistrustfully until the fox youkai spoke. "Shuichi, don't push me away. Let me help you." The fox's voice sounded almost pleading.

Kurama knew he shouldn't, knew he had pushed the fox away on purpose for too long to let his resolve shatter, but he couldn't bear it. He obeyed and took the hand. Within a second, the kitsune's arms were around him. The host could hear the voice of the one who shared his body, murmur softly in his ear, "You are mine. You were always mine." The quicksilver's breath was hot on the back of the redhead's neck and he shivered as he felt Youko's rough tongue trace the words he had written so long ago.

In his peaceful dream-like state, Youko heard Shuichi – _his_ Shuichi – reply back, "I know."


End file.
